F*ck Ass Bobs in Film

More of a lifestyle than anything else

The above image changed me forever. It didn’t just introduce me to one of my favorite adjectives (fuck ass), it finally labeled a hairstyle I’ve had on and off my whole life. See, “bob” is not enough. Chin-length hair has a power known only to those who possess it. Few understand this as well as one of the most joyous people on TikTok, Eric Sodeño. One of the only two playlists on his account is called “The Bob” and features countless flawless examples of the instant bad bitchery that enters your body when the blunt end of your hair grazes your shoulders.

I’m here to maybe hurt your feelings: not everyone is strong enough for the FAB (fuck ass bob). If you’re someone who worries about missing your long hair or someone who has agonized over cutting bangs, forget it. This haircut is for serious people and spending time worrying that you might not be able to serve is for unserious people. You have to be someone who is unafraid of sometimes looking like a little lad— “Oh you’re giving little lad” AND??? Also, if you can’t style your hair, that’s not my problem <3

The haircut has been around forever, but rose to popularity for women in the 1920s; it signified independence as flappers broke from the Edwardian style of the 1910s. Since then it has been an instant tell that the wearer is uninhibited by the male gaze (to a degree) and may be too busy to spend too much time getting their hair just right. That last part is ruse— a bob is endless upkeep in the salon. I have a standing appointment every six weeks to ensure mine is always looking tight and right. But again, this is a haircut for serious people.

Enjoy a collection of some of my favorite on-screen bobs with varying degrees of commentary below.

Two portrayals of Daisy Buchanan, Mia Farrow in 1974’s The Great Gatsby and Carrie Mulligan in 2013’s The Great Gatsby. These are both historical serves. The styling and costuming in both versions are stunning.

Grace Kelly, High Society (1956). A film club member claims that she is the most beautiful woman of all time and I can’t say I disagree one bit. I saw her grave in Monaco for the first time when I was about 13 or 14 and then watched this movie shortly after. I thought the most glamorous thing that could happen to a person is to be both a movie star and a princess… and then have one of the most sought after bags on earth named after you. I prefer a Kelly bag over a Birkin; I’d never pit two icons against each other until it comes to the Hermès bags they inspired.

Natalie Portman’s portrayal of Jackie Kennedy is so special to me— IYKYK. Jackie O had arguably one of the most famous & fuck ass bobs of all time. It was recreated so well in Pablo Larraín’s Jackie (2016).

Nastassja Kinski in Wim Wenders’s Paris, Texas (1984). This is one of my most recreated looks with my own bob but I sadly can never get the volume quite right. Beyoncé recently made reference to this bob herself on the cover art for “16 Carriages.” She got the volume right, obviously.

I think Gus Van Sant’s To Die For (1995) will be my next film club pick. It really has everything: cultural critique of fame in America at any cost, very young Casey Affleck & Joaquin Phoenix, murder, and this bob on Nicole Kidman. I’d venture to say this isn’t even a bob, it’s a Robert. It deserves a full Christian name.

I’d be lying if I didn’t disclose that part of the reason I have a bob and have always come back to the bob when I stray for a year or two is David Lynch’s clear love of the style. Naomi Watts’s hair here in Mulholland Drive (2001) is evocative of a lot of the Twin Peaks bobs that inspired one of my first chops as an adult.

If I had a dollar for every time someone compared my style to Margot in The Royal Tenenbaums (2001), I’d probably have enough to wonder if I should be offended. I can’t help that I like to part my hair to the side with tortoiseshell barrettes, use fur coats as an everyday staple and possess an inclination toward Gucci loafers!

Amazing Amy & her amazing bob. This cropped cut with not one hair out of place conceals a dark energy that lies within a lot of us bob-havers. I read Gone Girl a while before the film came out and I will never forget the perfect adaptation of the first lines “When I think of my wife, I always think of her head…” the way Rosamund Pike’s Amy turns around and looks at the camera as Ben Affleck’s Nick asks in narration “What are you thinking? How are you feeling? What have we done to each other?” Although she’s laying down, seemingly on his chest, her hair does not stray to where it does not belong. That is sinister bob excellence.

The styling choices made in Challengers (2024) were some of my favorite of this year so far. Jonathan Anderson (creative director of JW Anderson, Loewe) understands character in a way that compliments story so well; I’m really looking forward to his work on Luca Guadagnino’s upcoming film Queer. Tashi (Zendaya) having this perfectly imperfect bob in the 2019 “present day” part of the film plays perfectly with what we know about her: an incredibly serious person caught up in her inability to ever be what she truly wanted. A forced portrayal of success and belonging (See also: those Chanel espadrilles).

What I’m Watching This Week

This week’s film club pick is Dog Day Afternoon (1975). I haven’t seen this in years so I’m excited to have a reason to move it to the top of my rewatch list.

Trying to figure out what day I’ll be seeing Megalopolis. I’m trying to get in before I see anything more on Twitter than that “go back to the club” line read by Adam Driver. I did see someone compare the film to both Annette (2021) and Southland Tales (2006), two insane films I famously love so I think I’m in for a treat.

Last week I saw Terrence Malick’s Badlands (1973) at Metrograph and loved it. Being such a Gus Van Sant fan, I would guess it was direct inspiration for My Own Private Idaho (1991). I love Martin Sheen (huge West Wing girl, for better or worse) & adored him in this. Sissy Spacek’s hair in this film is award winning… though not a bob.